Dependency

Raised by a single mother of three girls and as the eldest child I learned to be very independent at a young age.

By the time I had reached high school, I was attending school full-time, working part-time, involved in sports, paying for all of my extra curriculars, paying my school fees, paying my auto insurance, buying my clothes, doing my laundry, and was responsible for making or buying my breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I graduated high school in June and attended my first college classes a month later. I started my first full-time job in November of that year as well.

By my 20th birthday, I was able to rent my own place and was officially independent.

Shortly after that, I met my husband. Between work, school, and being in a relationship, I was always busy and extremely content.

Fast forward a couple of years... I married Hubs and we bought a house a month after the wedding. We divided up the bills and kept our bank accounts separate. It wasn't until we had our son four years later that we combined our bank accounts to one.

After we combined bank accounts, we realized we were able to save more money. When we wanted to purchase something, we had another person to consider. It wasn't just "my money" anymore; it was "our money."

Fast forward 4 years and another baby later. I decided to leave my job and become a SAHM.

This was a HUGE step for me. I was nervous about our budget and putting financial stress on Hubs. I also had major anxiety about being home with our children full-time. Would I like it? Would I do a good job? Would Hubs think I was doing a good job?

All of those things worried me constantly, but they didn't come close to stressing me out as much as the thought of being 100% financially dependent on my spouse.

Being dependent was something I had never done before. It was very scary for me and I was hesitant to take that step; but my need to raise my children was stronger. If I'm going to do something, two things need to happen.

1.) I need to be passionate about it.
2.) I need to be all in. No half-assing it.

I have been a Stay-At-Home-Mom for a year and a half now. It has it's ups and downs. The amount of ups quadruple the amount of downs and it's been extremely rewarding.

Being dependent on my husband has brought us closer together. My full-time responsibility is caring for my husband and our children. I try my best to be a wonderful and loving mother and wife. I work hard at perfecting those roles and challenge myself to make our home a loving/fun/comfortable place to be. I'm hopeful that by doing this, my value here is worth more than a paycheck.

I always knew that Tanner loved me, but allowing me to be home with our children has taken our relationship to another level. He has repeatedly shown that he puts his family before himself and he will do anything he can to give us a happy life.

We've both made, and continue to make, big sacrifices for our kids. I believe that if you work hard, you will be rewarded.

I hope that the time, effort, and energy my husband and I continuously put into raising our kids will result in good kids; eventually resulting in caring, independent, responsible, and compassionate adults.

That is our dream.

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."
 -Unknown